Episode 19: Step Four: A Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory

By John S. 

Introduction: A few weeks ago, I had another interesting conversation with my friend Benn B. as we continue to record podcast episodes examining the Twelve Steps. Today, we are posting the podcast about Step Four and with it, the following essay about my experience with the step. Thank you Benn for providing me with the inspiration to write this.

Over the years, I’ve frequently heard in meetings that there’s a reason the steps were written in order. The implication being, that to do them correctly, one must work them sequentially, from one through twelve. I think to a certain extent this is true because the steps are based on our actual experience with recovery — and recovery is a process of steady personal growth. We start at the bottom, and through a series of actions that include getting honest, asking for help, and making an effort to change  — we learn about ourselves and our relationships with other people. I think Step Four in particular requires some preparation, a process to follow. There were a few steps I needed to take before I was ready to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

The Big Book helped guide me through this process, and though I repeatedly read and studied the book, this wasn’t entirely an intellectual exercise. In fact, a lot of what happened in my recovery was based more on actual experiences that I had than anything I learned in a book. The Big Book simply helped me understand and learn from those experiences.

A good example of this was my experience with the first two steps. Other than acceptance, there wasn’t any particular action that I needed to take. I simply reached a point where I accepted and admitted that I was an alcoholic, and I came to believe that I could find help in the rooms of AA.

Admitting that I was an alcoholic and coming to believe I could be helped in AA were important, life-changing events, but  I think the effect would have been short lived had I not made a decision to follow through with the suggested program of recovery — the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. That, to me is what Step Three was all about, a decision to work the rest of the steps, a decision made easier through the convenience of having them presented as an ordered list. This allowed me to read ahead, and to view the steps in their entirety, as an interconnected and interdependent set of principles and actions that build upon and feed into one another.

The decision in Step Three was critical I think, because it involved coming to understand that drinking was indeed only a symptom of my problem. If I were to truly recover, then “I must get down to causes and conditions”. (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64).

Looking at that numbered list of suggested steps, I could see exactly what that decision would entail.

  • I would need to take a personal inventory and share it with another person.
  • I would need to build character.
  • I would need to make amends.
  • I would need to check my motives on a daily basis.
  • I would need to seek serenity and peace.
  • I would need to help others.

Of course, there would be no reason to do any of these things unless I believed it was necessary for my full recovery, and this is where the Big Book was instrumental. It helped me understand exactly what was at the root of my problem. In Chapter Five, which is titled “How it Works”, the authors clearly lay out the problem:

Selfishness — selfcenteredness! That we think is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but invariably we find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self that later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must or it kills us! (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 62)

Self-centeredness, at least in my case, was dangerous and destructive, and all the more noticeable after I stopped drinking. It seemed that during the first two years of my sobriety, I was almost always in conflict with other people. I was frequently angry and depressed, and it was during this time that I came the closest to a relapse. Although things had certainly improved, I wasn’t really in full control of my emotions and life wasn’t as good as it could have been.

Finally, I reached a point where I just couldn’t stand it any longer. I felt a need to dig deeper and to gain a better understanding of the causes and conditions of my alcoholism — the various manifestations of self.

Convinced that I needed to change, I was now ready for Step Four.

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

I started drinking at an early age, and alcohol became my medicine. It numbed my emotional pain, it masked my fears, it hid my insecurities, and it helped me forget — at least for a while. However, in time, the very elixir that I discovered as a child began to turn on me in adolescence, and by the time I was a young  adult, it made life absolutely impossible. Most striking of all, and unbeknownst to me at the time, alcoholism had warped my thinking so that eventually I was divorced from reality altogether. It was Step Four that helped me find my way out of the fog and haze of alcoholism, and gave me enough clarity to at least make a beginning in understanding the truth about myself.

So how does one actually do a personal inventory? As far as I’m concerned, there is no right or wrong way to practice this step. I think what’s important is that we follow the general principle of self-honesty, and that we are willing to be searching and fearless in the pursuit of truth. Some will take the approach of reviewing the seven deadly sins as laid out in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 x 12), others will simply write out their life story, and still others will review a sampling of the more significant events from their lives. I used the process outlined in the Big Book, and reviewed my resentments, fears and sexual conduct.

Re • sent • ment

Inventory In AA, I learned that resentment is a condition or state of mind whereby one relives some past event, and feels the emotion from that event as if it were happening now. Resentment is literally to feel (sentire) again (re), and it was the fuel that fed the fires of my alcoholism. The original members of AA who wrote the book Alcoholics Anonymous believed “resentment was the number one offender, and that it destroys more alcoholics than anything else”. (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64). I don’t know where they got this idea, whether it was from psychology or religion, but I think there’s something to it. In my case it seemed to make sense.

I learned that though resentments were based in fact and arose from actual events, over time I added to the story so that eventually I no longer knew what was true or not. I relived these painful memories over and over again, using them to explain my failures and to justify my drinking. Between the bouts of drinking, I was frequently living in the past —  a past of my own creation. I was deluded.

Paradoxically, the resentments that were killing me were also the key to my recovery. They provided an easy and simple way to constructively review my past. Following the suggestion outlined in the Big BookI took pen to paper and I listed my resentments. I should say in the interest of honest disclosure, that this occurred only after a long period of time had passed that might have appeared to some (including my sponsor) as procrastination. Perhaps to a great extent it was, but it was also during this time that I was contemplating and preparing myself for what I believed would be an important and transformative experience.

For newcomers, if initially this step causes you too much difficulty, it’s okay to step back for a while. There is no need to rush into it. I found that in those early days and months of recovery, I was learning the practice of self-honesty simply by attending and participating in AA meetings. When I listened to others share about their past, and the truth they learned about themselves, it helped me to do the same. During that time of seeming procrastination, I was garnering the willingness necessary to go through with this step, and I was drawing upon the experience of those who had gone before me. They were my inspiration, my hope and my strength, and it was they who ultimately prepared me for this step.

The Fourth Step, like the whole of recovery, is a process — not an event. When the time was right for me, it seemed as if the pen in my hand had a direct connection to my mind, and the memories of a  lifetime just poured out onto the page.

I listed my resentments on paper, but not necessarily in chronological order. I started with what I knew was my most serious resentment and my most painful memory, and once I wrote down that resentment, the dam was burst. I wrote for hours in one sitting, resentment after resentment, and in every instance I asked myself how I was affected — and what I learned surprised me. In the third column where I listed how the resentment affected me, I had repeatedly written “security”. Up until that time, I never thought of myself as an insecure person, but there it was on paper, and I realized it was the truth.

Now, this is not a judgmental statement in the sense that I was somehow defective for being insecure or that I was  wrong for allowing my security to be threatened, nor was this an indictment of the people I resented. This was nothing more than an inventory of events from my life and how they affected me. In fact, through the process of writing, I actually gained some understanding and compassion for the people I resented.

Fear

I had a difficult time with the fear section of the inventory. I followed the advice given in the Big Bookand if fear was connected to a resentment, I listed it in brackets in that third column. I went back to examine my fears and I asked myself why I had them. Did self-reliance fail me? Yes, I could see that self-reliance compounded my fears. No matter the crisis or problem, I never asked for help. I never trusted another human being enough to let them know I was afraid. I kept it all inside, all to myself and I think deep down, I knew that it was just a matter of time before the entire house of cards came tumbling down. I’ve since found a better way to live. I trust people and as a result, fear doesn’t dominate me like it did at one time.

I felt that I had done some serious thinking about my fears and that I gained some understanding of myself as a result. I was quite satisfied. Unfortunately, Roy was not satisfied and he was my sponsor. He seemed to think I did it all wrong, and I suppose technically he was right. After all, the book does suggest that we list our fears and ask ourselves why we have them. I started over and listed my fears, whether they were connected to a resentment or not. I can’t recall, but I bet I must have listed a hundred of them. It wasn’t a productive exercise to be honest, and Roy still wasn’t pleased. No matter what I did, Roy was insistent that I failed the fear part of the inventory.

I don’t resent Roy. He’s a good guy, but he was mistaken. There is no wrong way to do this step! Never tell someone who made an honest effort to review their fears that they didn’t do it right! In spite of Roy’s disapproval, this was a good experience. I learned that my basic fear involved not being accepted by others. Once again, it all tied into my overriding need for security.

Sex

Sex I was terribly shy as a kid, especially during those awkward years of adolescence. I dealt with it through avoidance. I didn’t date, and with the exception of junior prom, I never went to a high school dance. Remarkably enough, a nice girl befriended me, and I was crazy about her. I suppose that I would consider her my first girlfriend. She was very different from me in that she was fun and outgoing and popular. I on the other hand was quiet and insecure. There’s certainly nothing unusual in all of this. It’s typical high school growing pains. The only problem is that this is when my drinking started taking over and I wasn’t growing. I had the pain without the growth.

When I inventoried my sexual conduct, I decided to include any romantic relationship, even if sex wasn’t involved. This was important because my sexual experience at that time was fairly limited, and drinking played such a huge role in keeping me distanced and detached from others. Had I not been drinking, my sexual life would have been healthier and more fulfilling. I suppose that would be true for many if not most of us.

I did what was suggested, and I reviewed my sexual conduct and relationships to ask where I was selfish, dishonest, and inconsiderate. I took a look at who I hurt and what I could have done differently. I found that I was selfish, dishonest and inconsiderate in every instance. I never harmed anyone physically, but I certainly did my share of emotional harm. In most of my relationships, I simply disappeared so I wasn’t around to see who may have been hurt. Only once was I present for the tears.

Reviewing my sex conduct and my past relationships was helpful, but I don’t think it made things easier as I started dating in sobriety. I was in my late twenties and early thirties going through what I should have experienced during those high school years. It was fun though. I still remember my first date in sobriety. I was two years sober and she was someone I knew either from an old job or from college. I believe it was the first time that I had ever gone on a date without needing a drink to get through it. I didn’t pursue that relationship because the time just wasn’t right. I was still rebuilding the basic infrastructure of my life, and I wasn’t ready for a relationship.

I continued dating through my thirties and I had a few long-term relationships. By the time I was in my early forties, I met the woman who is now my wife. I fell in love with her instantly and I asked her to marry me within six months of meeting her. Next month, we will have been married for ten years.

I can’t say that the sex inventory corrected all of my sex problems. It’s still a difficult area and I’m not always very good at communicating about sex. It is indeed progress not perfection that we are seeking and I’m happy with that.

Looking Forward

Step Four provided me not only with some insight into who I was, but it also gave me some understanding and forgiveness of others. I felt at peace with the process and I was eager to get on with Step Five. I called my sponsor the night that I finished my inventory and we set up a time to meet the next day. As it turned out, it took me two days to go through the Fifth Step. Partly, because of the length of my Fourth Step, and partly because my sponsor was hard of hearing, making it necessary for me to often repeat myself. More about that later, as well as why one should never do the Fifth Step in a city park.


Inventory Forms

I assume that most people today use their computer and type out their fourth step, so I created these templates that might be useful for those who are ready for this step.

Resentment Inventory

Fear Inventory

Sex Conduct

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  1. Dave S May 20, 2017 at 4:58 pm - Reply

    John,

    I stumbled on your website while searching for help with Step 4.  Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences.  I also appreciate the templates you’ve provided.  Very cool.

    Best regards,

    Dave

  2. Jessica April 6, 2017 at 10:28 am - Reply

    Hi John–
    I work for a treatment center and would like to have permission to repost your blog. How might I get in touch with you directly?

    • John S April 6, 2017 at 10:35 am Reply

      Please feel free to use this material in any way that is useful. I will send you an email with my phone number if you would like to talk.  You can also reach me at editor@aabeyondbelief.com

  3. Victoria R ('Vic') May 20, 2016 at 6:13 pm - Reply

    Fabulous stuff as ever, guys. I started listening to about a third the way through a few days ago, then resumed the journey again this morning. Nodding all the way through, with such relief – the relief that comes from ‘coming to believe’ that hey, how I’ve always interpreted AA and the Steps is not only ok, but more importantly, actually more healthy for my sober inner being.

    Meantime, I have to continue going to meetings where anyone who thinks / feels similarly are almost invisible. They do occasionally pop up – by speaking out authentically when sharing in the room. But it’s very, very rare.

    My antenna are always ‘on’ to seek them out, usually to be disappointed. And I should note that this is happening in a country (Australia) which has nowhere near the same degree of religiosity in the general population, statistically much more a secular society. (We lately have a very powerful ultra-right bunch of god-botherers in the national government and parts of the public sphere but many of us are desperately hoping to boot ’em out at our coming Federal election).

    Even so, in most AA meetings, especially in certain demographic areas like mine, the majority of members pump the ‘god bit’ along with the injunction to ‘do the Steps THIS way [or you’re doomed]’. That includes – as I began to notice, with mounting panic and horror! – some pockets / cabals of Back to Basics disciples. URGHHHH.

    Essentially, there are few if any individual members I can talk with about the Agnostica / Beyond Belief type of approach. Oh well, I’ll just be continually grateful that I have the internet to wallow in here for sanity and a little sufficient dosh to be able to buy as much of the excellent, INTELLIGENT literature now available as I can. Chomp, chomp, chomp – ahhhhhh….that’s better 🙂 Another day of sobriety and sane thinking. Yes, and I mean real thinking: totally agree with that part of the podcast btw.

    Thanks so much, again. Breathlessly await Step 5.

    • John S May 21, 2016 at 7:25 am Reply

      Thanks Vic. It’s always nice to hear from you. I am also looking forward to the discussion of Step Five. We plan to include a discussion of sponsorship as we go through Step Five. It will most likely be sometime in June when we release the Step Five podcast. I have three podcasts recorded that I will be releasing every other week.

    • Benn B May 20, 2016 at 11:41 pm Reply

      Thank you for the kind feedback!

      I agree with you … the more I speak up about my own experience in a authentic way, the more often I find people come up and appreciate what was said … if not solely for the freshness and permission it gives others to have their own perspective. I believe it actually helps keep people in the rooms.

      Thanks for listening and sharing your experience! I look forward to Step 5 as well 🙂

  4. Victoria May 15, 2016 at 5:31 pm - Reply

    Extraordinary timing – it’s Monday a.m. on the 16th May here in Melbourne, AU. For my morning readings or meditations to establish some ground of sanity for the day, I often include some study and reflection with Beyond Belief and / or Agnostica / Rebellion Dogs etc essays and podcasts. Before coming here, I was literally waiting for this next Step in John and Benn’s Steps series. The dreaded Step 4 lol! I was even thinking, perhaps I’ll write to John to ask when this step might be online………..And then, bam! Here it is!

    I’ve just read your essay, John, thanks so much for it. A much needed re-alignment for the Thinker in Recovery :-). I’d formally ‘done’ this step and the others with a previous sponsor in 2014 but felt truly weird and uncomfortable with the methodology – full on Back to Basics BB-text-driven literalness. I did my best to go along with it, but I knew even then that so much was missing – and plain dissonant – for me. Numerous traditionalists in my local rooms darkly hinted (or bellowed) that my subsequent pretty serious relapse periods unequivocally demonstrated that I hadn’t ‘really, truly’ accepted or ‘correctly’ worked them. And of course, my equivocation about the ‘god bit’ as I understood it will forever doom me, then and forever really.

    More recently, after 4+ years in AA of this kind, I’m finding some genuine peace in myself to do it in a manner each day which resonates for me. Thus I continue to ‘work my shit’ with the help of communities like here and soberrecovery.com, Refuge Recovery etc. Sure they’re not f2f, but I reckon that if I can gain genuine access to fellow journeymen and women with an understanding of the steps to which I can genuinely relate: more sober power to me, yeah!

    Picked up my 60 day chip (for about the 5th? time) last night at a speaker meeting. Even better, the speaker did a full god-bit rave on step 3……when it came time for short shares on the topic, no less than 3 members spoke their truths back to the generalised God-ether in that group (group think, I call it).  This is extremely rare in my local district rooms. Moreover, when I vigorously applauded each one, I sensed a ripple of a few others in agreement (this meeting has about 50 there each week).

    So, now I’ve read your essay, John – back to the early part of the podcast. Benn’s already spoken straight to something which has bugged me for years: the erroneous use of the word ‘moral’ in the text. I often think of it as, yes, very much psychological work, combined with what would more properly be called ‘ethics’ (much as in Buddhism, there is ‘skilful / unskilful’ actions within the precepts.

    Enough rambling from me. Back to the podcast. Thank you, guys! You’ve made this old drunk downright cheery this morning 🙂

    • John S May 22, 2016 at 6:37 am Reply

      Hi Vic, I’m sorry it took so long to post your comment. For some reason, the spam filter moved it in our spam folder, and I just found it this morning. At any rate, I’m glad that I found it as it always is so nice to receive these comments and you reminded me about Benn’s comment early on in the podcast about the use of the word “moral”. It’s funny, how that word has bugged me for years but I never really thought about it, but yest of course the word is full of judgement.

      I worry that the Back to Basics people are really doing a lot of harm to AA. This was never intended to be a narrow path that has to be done just so. The steps are suggested only and each AA member has a right to experience and express his or her recovery in whatever language they choose.

      There are people who through therapy feel they have done the necessary work to learn the truth about themselves, and others simply through attending meetings and talking with others will experience the benefits of this step.

      My fear is that when the Back to Basics people get so rigid, they make this thing more difficult than it should be. Of the two founders, my least favorite is probably Doctor Bob, but he was wise when he cautioned us to “keep it simple”.

      Thanks again for your kind comments.

  5. ken May 15, 2016 at 5:26 pm - Reply

    Thanks John.

    I am enjoying your conversations with Ben B. Very, very much!

    I’m finding them insightful and sometimes prvocative as they’re causing me to re-examine some of my conclusions about the steps.

    I particularly was engaged in the concept that Step 3 is about Making a decision to change.  The emphasis is on the decision, not whether we engage a higher power or not.   I had pretty much discounted step three as being irrelevant to me as a nonbeliever.

    I also liked your essay on step four.  I found the process to be transformative too.  One of your comments “drinking was indeed only a symptom of my problem” however doesn’t conform to my personal experience.  Yes I had my share of fears, anxieties, resentments, etc.  However, for me, absent alcohol these defects were manageable and probably not abnormal.  Drinking was an accelerant much like gasoline on a campfire.  Remove alcohol and these defects reduced to manageability.  Having said that I have to add that the program of AA has helped me further reduce the resentments, fears, etc to much more comfortable levels than I ever could have achieved on my own.

    I guess I’ve always chaffed at the concept that my alcoholism was ” merely a manifestation” of underlying problems.  My experience has been that alcohol IS the problem but I recognize that isn’t necessarily the norm.

    Thanks John for your good work!

    Ken

    • Benn B May 20, 2016 at 11:47 pm Reply

      Ken, thanks for all the great words!

      I agree with your perspective as well … drinking itself can cause the symptoms for sure and lead to us feeling unable to manage. It can be such a chicken vs the egg discussion … and it can be either for different people. Some of us drank to get over things, or through things or be ourselves, etc. and that led to further problems. For others alcohol was THE problem and not an example of other things going on. There’s not always some “moral ineptitude” underneath that “causes” the need to drink. What I love about this site and (hopefully) these podcasts is that it allows us to have the permission to have our own take and not feel pressured to conform to some idea of what is accepted experience. I can’t stand that about the more rigid meetings I’ve attended. All of us have our experience and perspective and they’re all valid! AA is so much more interesting when there’s diversity of thought.

      Again, thanks for responding!

  6. Jerry F May 15, 2016 at 1:19 pm - Reply

    Thank you, John. Reliving Step Four. Wow, what a ride!

    I was a daily drunk when I came into AA and I passed out every night – sometimes in alleys, sometimes in stairwells, sometimes on front lawns (which, in the Phoenix area, tend to be gravel), and sometimes on the floor of an apartment which was unfamiliar to me. And I was experiencing startling delusions and yelling at people I didn’t know. I was in therapy for the first two years of my sobriety in AA.

    I am not one who believes that alcoholism is an illness, though I think that is an appropriate analogy because, like a disease, it has an onset -usually slow- and progresses through well-known stages until it peaks and we get better or get locked up or die.

    In my own case Step Four was the real turning point. Until then there was only me, me, me. In therapy and in sobriety I was introduced to the me as I wanted you to know me, the me who I thought I was, and the me who I had actually become. In Step Four I learned that I was my actions. I was the one who did all the things I listed. And fear, far more than any other motivator, defined me.

    For newcomers, whether alcoholism is a progressive illness or not, what matters is that recovery is a progressive wellness. Day after day, struggling at first, month after month it gets easier, year after year we become the person we might have been had it not been for our addiction. Progressive wellness will ensure that the you who you think you are, is the you who you are.

    • Benn B May 20, 2016 at 11:50 pm Reply

      I also vacillate between thinking “alcoholism” is an illness or not Jerry. It’s certainly not something we planning on having be a problem, but sometimes I don’t like the way it’s worded in certain places where it is made out to be like it just sprung upon us. We don’t have a problem with alcohol unless we drink or drank in the first place. Sometimes people make it seem like predestination that we would have a problem regardless.

      I too have found out how much I allow fear to dictate my choices … thank you for your thought-provoking comments!

    • Daniel May 15, 2016 at 3:56 pm Reply

      For me step 4 probably saved my life. I was 11 months sober and just dry and I was going to drink again unless I took a deep truthful look at myself. I found in the fourth column my problem.

      I was  restless, irritable and discontented  when I was sober.

      I was full of fear.

      I was having problems in all of my relationships

      I was unhappy and wanted to be some where else all the time.

      I could not control my emotions.  On and on it went. These were problems from the the  inside members were talking about, the Spiritual Malady and the solution was a set of principles to be practiced daily.  The 4 th step changed my life.   Cheers Daniel

  7. Bob c May 15, 2016 at 12:08 pm - Reply

    Very nice. I really enjoyed that. I really like the advocacy of step work as process. The keep coming back part can also be applied to step work.

    • Benn B May 21, 2016 at 12:13 am Reply

      I hope we are helping people to want to stay engaged in the process. Thanks Bob!

  8. steve b May 15, 2016 at 12:02 pm - Reply

    John S has given a good description of the 4th step. I used to believe as he does, that the steps are very helpful for recovery from alcoholism, and more palatable when stripped free of the god terminology. Now, at least for myself, I’m not so sure. I’ve been sober for 36 years now, and I haven’t had a sponsor for about 20 years. I used to think I should get one, but after a while I realized that I was doing fine without one, so why bother. Also, I no longer work the steps. I used to say that I worked them in a vague or general way, but I now think it would be more accurate to say that I don’t really work them any longer. Sure, I try to get along with people and try to stay emotionally balanced, but that’s the extent of it. And I haven’t noticed that the quality of my sobriety has in any way diminished. I continue to go to AA meetings, but I no longer have the fervor for AA that I once did. Recently I got very tired of going, and took a month off. It was quite refreshing, like a vacation. I went back last week, and was glad to see some familiar faces at the meeting. I now feel that I stay sober primarily because I want to, and that perhaps AA helps, too, but I’m not sure about that.

    • Benn B May 20, 2016 at 11:59 pm Reply

      Thanks for sharing your experience Steve. I think many people have the same experience you have had … we just don’t hear about it. I have a dogmatist I attend meetings with and he always likes to say “I never heard someone leave AA and say ‘it’s great out there’ when they come back.” I always think “of course they don’t. If things are going OK, they’re probably not assholes who are going to tell everyone how great it is.” They just go about their lives. And that’s the goal, right?

      Sometimes I think if AA just helps people get a firm grasp on Step One and nothing more (admitting you and alcohol don’t mix well) that’s just fine and dandy. The rest is icing on the cake … and we all go about finding that out on our own in various ways.

      Thanks for sharing your experience and for listening to these podcasts!

  9. Thomas Brinson May 15, 2016 at 8:50 am - Reply

    Wonderful essay, John. The podcasts that you and Benn are doing on the 12 Steps for secular members of AA, especially newcomers, are a most valuable and admirable project.

    As I’ve mentioned before,  maybe someday this series on the 12 Steps will become a 21st Century Joe and Charlie rendition of the 12 Steps for newcomers, who want to experience the fullness of the 12-step recovery process without it being steeped in Christian ideology. What you and Benn are doing with the attendant forms as templates is most valuable and essential for newcomers to AA who do not believe in “the God bit,” as Jimmy Burwell, one of the first atheists in AA describes it.

    Thank you both for this essay on the 4th Step as well as for your dedication to insure the hand of AA is always there for anyone anywhere who desires to stop drinking in AA.

    • Benn B May 21, 2016 at 12:11 am Reply

      Your kind words blow me away Thomas! I like that we can remind ourselves there always have been and always will be atheists in AA. Somehow it seems like the new, old guard has grown to believe that to not believe is to not be a “true” AA member.

  10. Lance B. May 15, 2016 at 8:01 am - Reply

    John; That is the simplest, most easy to understand explanation of the 4th step process and why it is important that I ever remember reading.

    I’ve printed it out and will try to utilize it for making my little meeting this morning more meaningful to the others who are quite new to AA.

    And I thank you for your effort and clear thinking/writing.

  11. Rich May 15, 2016 at 7:16 am - Reply

    Step 4 , IMHO , shows where our instincts ( social , sexual & security )  are out of balance. These instincts are necessary & good when in balance . If these instincts ( self – will ) are out of control ( balance ) , and I feel they are threaten ,  then I react with fear , resentments , etc. That is those instincts then now become destructive . So , if our will is our thinking and our lives are our actions , and we decide to turn out will & lives over to a power greater then ourselves , then we begin to bring about a ‘ psychic change ‘ or what we may call a spiritual awakening and / or growth.

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