Incoming!

By Eric C.

Copyright © The AA Grapevine, Inc. (October, 2017). Reprinted with permission.

Not only are there lots of atheists with decades of sobriety in AA, there have always been atheists in foxholes.

A graduate of a Christian high school, I enlisted in the Marine Corps at age 19. I had already discovered that the more I studied the scriptures and the more earnestly I prayed, the more I doubted the existence of any kind of God. I’ve rediscovered this many more times through the years. 

Five years into what would become a 25-year career in the Marines, I was diagnosed by a physician as an “acute, chronic alcoholic.” A Vietnam veteran with an impeccable service record, I was hospitalized briefly and introduced to AA. 

I was happy when they told me at my first meeting that AA is “spiritual, not religious,” and “not allied with any sect [or] denomination.” But my spirits fell when the meeting began with a prayer, followed by a ritual recitation that invoked the name of God no fewer than six times (“How It Works”). They then closed the meeting by saying the Lord’s Prayer. 

It was instantly clear to me that AA was a religious cult in denial about being religious. So I didn’t come back to any meetings for years. In the meantime, on several occasions I almost died from my alcoholism. 

My disease progressed through an additional five years in the Marines. The Commandant of the Marine Corps then ordered me to the National Naval Medical Center at Bethesda, Maryland, for treatment of alcoholism. At least two good things happened to me the second time I was hospitalized.

Eric C. Somalia 1993

First, a long-sober Marine master gunnery sergeant who was a counselor at the treatment facility helped square me away on the Higher Power question. He pointed out that all Marines have the same Higher Power—the Commandant of the Marine Corps.

In addition, the master gunny noted that he and I had both been in harm’s way earlier in our careers. We talked about a phenomenon with which we were both quite familiar, something known as “esprit de corps.”

“Esprit” is the French word for “spirit.” And “corps” refers to a body of troops, in this case, our Corps of Marines.

We knew from hard experience that when the situation is grave, Marines help each other survive by working together. In fact, another favorite term among Marines, “gung ho,” is an ancient Chinese battle cry that means “working together.”

The master gunny and I had both been in situations where we and those around us were scared out of our minds. But we knew that when Marines support each other selflessly, we can and do overcome our fear. In doing so, we gain an ability to beat seemingly insurmountable and life-threatening odds.

We knew that the bond Marines feel with each other, especially in combat, is best described as spiritual. This is clearly not a supernatural power, but a deeply human power that has been proven throughout history to play a decisive role in turning potential defeat into victory on the battlefield.

“Esprit de corps is the same kind of spiritual power that AA has,” the master gunny explained. “People in AA call this power whatever they want.” 

The second good thing that happened to me in treatment was that I found my first sponsor. I noticed him at an AA meeting they drove us to in a hospital van one evening. He was the one guy in the room at the end of the meeting whose lips weren’t moving when everybody else was holding hands and reciting the Lord’s Prayer. 

An atheist with 10 years of sobriety at the time, my first sponsor explained to me that even though much of the AA program borrows from religion, AA works just fine anyway, as long as you don’t drink, go to lots of meetings and take as many of AA’s suggestions as you can stomach. 

Working the Twelve suggested Steps to the best of my ability wouldn’t kill me, my sponsor said. Even as an atheist, he explained, I could work the Steps exactly the same way everybody else works them—imperfectly and according to my own understanding. 

Before my first year in sobriety ended, my career as a Marine rocketed into a new dimension. The Commandant ordered me back to college, where I completed my bachelor’s degree. Shortly after my second anniversary in sobriety, people were saluting me and addressing me as “sir.” 

My attainment of officer rank led to a number of new and exciting assignments all over the world. Each time I moved, I found a new AA sponsor locally and tried to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. I also began sponsoring other men and got involved in AA service work.

During the Persian Gulf War in 1990, I was able to attend a few AA meetings at the Marine headquarters in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. However, I spent most of my time out in the desert on the front lines, where I enjoyed reading and re-reading letters I received from my many AA friends back in the U.S. 

For the record, Marines don’t have “foxholes.” We call them “fighting holes.” While under fire during Operation Desert Storm, I observed an important difference between the atheists I knew and others who might be inclined to spend time on their knees praying for divine protection. I found that the atheists could be counted on to do things that are actually useful, like digging better fighting holes.

Some years later, I found myself in Somalia in the midst of a civil war characterized by sectarian violence, famine and human suffering on a Biblical scale. Even though we could find no sign of a “loving God” anywhere in Somalia, I and a few other military personnel formed a group conscience and decided to start holding AA meetings in beautiful downtown Mogadishu.

Our little group opted to meet outdoors in the shade of a tree because of the heat. That turned out to be a mistake. Our first meeting was broken up by sniper fire. Although the sniper was clearly a lousy shot, we decided to change locations.

Our second meeting was broken up by sniper fire too. At that point, we decided to move our meeting indoors behind concrete walls and simply ignore the heat. It was our group’s little joke that we closed our meetings “in the usual manner” by all shouting, “Incoming!”

About a year after returning to the U.S., I married a woman I’d met in AA who is also an atheist. We had two children before I retired from the Marines. Today, our kids are grown and doing well.

As of this writing I have 33 years of sobriety in AA and my wife has 26 years. Our lives are as happy, joyous and free as anyone we know in our Fellowship.

But some in AA still “feel sorry” for atheists, just as our co-founder Dr. Bob said he felt about unbelievers in the Big Book. Some too remain convinced that those who say they won’t believe are “belligerent” and have a “savage” mind, as co-founder Bill W. asserted in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. 

My original atheist AA sponsor, with whom I remain in touch, has 43 years of sobriety in AA and is still clearly a thorn in the side of some of the bleeding deacons in his own home group.

In recent years, I’ve a played a role in organizing a couple of secular “We Agnostics” meetings of AA in my community. I’ve also tried to be more vocal at other AA meetings about my lack of belief in any kind of God, especially the miracle-working supernatural being that Bill W. and Dr. Bob believed in.

If AA is to survive and thrive in a world where increasing numbers of people, especially young people, are leaving religious beliefs behind them, as I did, my hope is that we will open the doors of our Fellowship a little wider.


About the Author:

Eric C.’s sobriety date is Jan. 10, 1983.  Since retiring from the Marines in 1998, he has been working as a newspaper reporter in northwest lower Michigan.  He also administers a Facebook page called Secular A.A. in Michigan, and a website, SecularAAinMichigan.org, which is devoted to encouraging the formation of more secular A.A. meetings and groups in his home state.

The lead image was taken on Feb. 27, 1991, at the Kuwait International Airport, the day the U.S. Marines, including Eric C., recaptured it from Iraqi forces.

Listen to Eric’s Talk “Our We Agnostics Meeting” or read the transcript

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  1. Pat N. February 12, 2018 at 11:00 pm - Reply

    Thanks for your service, both to the nation and to secular AA. The second picture, of the men driving TOGETHER from the flames and danger, is a fitting AA illustration. I especially like the comparison of  esprit d’corps and spirituality, and how to work the steps regardless of the religiosity.

  2. Jeb February 12, 2018 at 12:17 pm - Reply

    Finding within a fellowship hope, acceptance, understanding, connection and encouragement is for many of us the first step toward recovery. It was that emotional experience when I found my first meeting with two and a half years of sobriety in 1981. Once the message began to sink in, I had to use the brain evolution gave me to focus on the underlying process of “self-examination, confession (admission) of shortcomings and leveling of . . . pride, which the process requires for its successful consummation (fulfillment).” Learning from my mistakes, as well as others’ mistakes, in the company of others has helped me to continue growing in understanding and effectiveness.  Although I still attend a few of those pseudo-religious meetings, where I share how AA helped me to slowly “let go of old ideas” of an invisible, absent something or someone to take care of me, essentially making me the happy, joyous and free, self-aware recovered alcoholic in their midst. With now tow secular meetings in Denver, plus a class on living the 12 Steps on a daily basis, I find myself surrounded by eager, honest and thinking men and women, willing to pick up the tools modeled and encouraged by others.

  3. janine schultz February 11, 2018 at 10:57 pm - Reply

    Thank you for this. I served in the peacetime Marine Corps decades ago. Sadly, the message of secular AA hasn’t made it’s way to the good folks where I live, near Camp Lejeune. Keep up the good fight.

  4. Dale K February 11, 2018 at 5:04 pm - Reply

    Thank you, Eric. I’ve read this before, but enjoyed reading it a second time. I love your comments regarding the “Commandant” and “esprit de corps.” It fits perfectly with what we do in AA. Also, thank you for your service (to our Country and secular AA). I know that’s almost becoming a cliche. As a Vietnam vet, I enjoy hearing it because it took so long for me to hear it the first time.  

  5. Doris A February 11, 2018 at 4:27 pm - Reply

    After reading this for the third time (because it’s so good) I read the transcript of Eric’s talk in Michigan. Together they are very moving and powerful articulations of why we need to speak up and be strong about recovery without god talk. Thanks Eric for being brave and articulate.

  6. Diana R. February 11, 2018 at 3:21 pm - Reply

    Thank-you for writing this great article. I also really enjoyed listening to your talk. How wonderful for you to be authentic and share this message for others to hear.

  7. Lola February 11, 2018 at 2:43 pm - Reply

    I’ve had the privilege of knowing Eric for a number of years now and his knowledge and experience has been helpful, especially when trying to maneuver the “rules” and customs (and local personalities) of AA. I can always count on him to cut to the chase and tell it like it is. He’s a great source of historical AA information and even when he’s waving his arms around excitedly during his shares (lol) I always learn something. Love ya, Eric! Great writing! OX

  8. Zhu Shan February 11, 2018 at 2:03 pm - Reply

    Thanks for sharing. But you should know that ‘gung ho’ was never an ‘ancient Chinese battle cry’! It’s from 工合, a working cooperative. It does have a ‘working together’ meaning, but nothing military. A 20th-century word with a 20th-century meaning.

    “The term was picked up by United States Marine Corps Major Evans Carlson from his New Zealand friend, Rewi Alley, one of the founders of the Chinese Industrial Cooperatives. Carlson explained in a 1943 interview: “I was trying to build up the same sort of working spirit I had seen in China, where all the soldiers dedicated themselves to one idea and worked together to put that idea over. I told the boys about it again and again. I told them of the motto of the Chinese Cooperatives, Gung Ho. It means Work Together-Work in Harmony….””

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gung-ho

    • Eric C. March 4, 2018 at 4:45 pm Reply

      Thank you for the insight, Zhu Shan.  You might want to send a correction to the Commandant of the Marine Corps (Code HD), Washington, D.C. 20380.  Both HD (Historical Division) and TECOM (Training and Education Command) have apparently been misinforming Marines about the origin of “gung ho” all this time!

       

  9. Janet February 11, 2018 at 12:26 pm - Reply

    Read this in Grapevine -enjoyed it then and even more now.  Really fine story and would hope it gets widespread circulation so as to help many.

  10. Larry K February 11, 2018 at 11:32 am - Reply

    Terrific share Eric…thank you for your contribution…in all that that means!

     

    Larry K

  11. bob k February 11, 2018 at 11:12 am - Reply

    Eric, you are blessed (nyuk nyuk) with a wonderful clarity of expression. Now get down and give me 20.

  12. Thomas Brinson February 11, 2018 at 9:39 am - Reply

    Thanks, Bro’, for your excellent article and for the outstanding work you do widening the doors of AA in Michigan, especially with your efforts to offer AA’s secular formula for recovery to those ensnared in the judicial system.

  13. XBarbarian February 11, 2018 at 9:14 am - Reply

    Outstanding article!

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