Making a decision to go to your first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is a major step. Whatever you’ve heard about it—whether you have a friend who goes, you’ve seen it on TV, learned about it in rehab—it is going to be an experience like nothing else you’ve ever had a chance to partake in. The reason for this is that, despite AA meetings maintaining certain structures through readings, announcements, and a particular format (Speaker meeting vs. open sharing, steps discussion, etc.), it is still something that can get completely unpredictable. I’m not saying this to scare you—I’m simply pointing out the fact AA meetings are run by people who assert that they belong to an organization that is not an organization and has no official membership requirements, other than the desire to stop drinking.
I won’t get into the intricacies of “organization that is not an organization,” but I do want to focus on one major and important aspect of AA: Language.
Perhaps it will be at your first meeting, or maybe it’ll take a few more before you realize that there’s something extra to know about those meetings—mainly how they call themselves “spiritual.” AA is not a religious program—it insists on not being one—but it’s a spiritual one. Say what? What does that even mean? Spiritual is such an incredibly broad term that obviously it means different things to different people. To you it might mean Roman Catholic, to somebody else it means Buddhism, and to somebody else yet it just sounds confusing.
To me it sounded confusing. I was not “spiritual” ever—I’ve considered myself a secularist, and as much as I’ve tried to get some kind of spiritual injection from the program and outside of it (I’ve gone to churches on my quest for god), I just could never fully believe that this was what lied behind my full recovery. Higher Power, yes—but in my case, a belief in Reality. Not in Deity. I needed things to be simple. AA complicated things for me. Sure, it got me sober, but it didn’t make me feel whole.
I know that I am not alone. I know that there are many people in the rooms of AA who are afraid of speaking their minds for the fear of being ostracised because they don’t feel particularly spiritual. Telling a newcomer AA is religious not “spiritual” is like telling a life-long atheist that someone is Protestant not Catholic. It means nothing. Why can’t we stop scaring people away and simply use the work “relational” instead of “spiritual”? (Relational according to the Oxford Dictionary definition: “Concerning the way in which two or more people or things are connected.”).
Getting rid of labels that are so complicated (and for some connected to trauma as well—take the Catholic church and the sex abuse scandals within it), would make the 12-step program so much more accessible. Walking into a room and seeing a slogan that reads “God… “ is what might make a lot of people simply walk right out the door. And they shouldn’t walk out of those doors. Everybody deserves a chance at recovery. The language shouldn’t be another wall a person with substance-use has to jump over. I believe getting rid of some of the “spiritual” language would really give a chance to those put off by religious terms and bring all of us closer together.
About the Author
David B. Bohl, author of the memoir Parallel Universes: The Story of Rebirth, is an independent addiction consultant who fully understands the challenges faced by so many who seek to escape from, or drown their pain through, external means. His story offers hope to those struggling with the reality of everyday life in today’s increasingly stressful world.
Through his private practice substance use disorder consulting business, Beacon Confidential LLC, David provides independent professional consultation, strategic planning, motivation and engagement, care coordination, recovery management and monitoring, and advocacy services to individuals, families, and organizations struggling with substance use issues and disorders.