The Worst Days of My Life (Thus Far)

I’ve had many worst days of my life. Too many to count. Dark days when I stopped wanting to live and I bought a rope. The death of an old dog that was still too young. A daughter that died much, much too young. A career I thought I’d have forever that changed. The pain that I finally saw in my son’s eyes. Each of those worst days transformed. They had a day after. Because I didn’t use that rope, I’ve had the chance to learn to live.

I found another way to do what I love. The old dog taught me how to love each new puppy since. My daughter touches my heart every day and in so doing touches the hearts of the so, so many she never met. My son forgave me when I could not and today he sees himself in my eyes (and I see myself in his and his child). I know that there will be worst days to come, but now that I know how to turn sorrow to joy. I’ve so little to fear.

Three Poems About Transformation

I

All of these yesterdays
Yours mine and ours
Good bad and in between
Have brought me here
Of this I need not complain

II

Once upon a time
What I thought
The worst day of life
Became of the best
Days of my life
I began to turn
Sorrow into joy
Despair to hope
Problems to gold
Losing everything
I gained the world

III

The coldest night of the year
And I remained warm
The darkest night of my soul
And yet my spirit awoke
Never-ending sorrow
And now joy
One day at a time the impossible
Ever so slowly impossible no more


About the Author

Robert B. is sober alcoholic in Madison, WI participating in AA and AlAnon at Fitchburg Serenity Club. He has been sober since April 21, 2007. He also began writing and sharing poetry on Facebook during his first year sober as part of his recovery from alcohol dependency, acute anxiety and chronic depression. He has found that creativity expressed primarily through writing poetry and playing various stringed instruments helped him heal and thrive.
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  1. Maria April 16, 2019 at 8:59 am - Reply

    Hi Robert, I was looking for some material about weathering storms. This is the first piece I read. Siting with my coffee and my Kleenex. Thank you.

  2. Joe C. March 17, 2019 at 9:13 am - Reply

    what an uplifting way to start my day; thank you.

  3. Robert March 17, 2019 at 7:41 am - Reply

    Thanks Murray and Rich,

    At first, I was reluctant to share these, but knew I needed to, if only for myself. I hadn’t anticipated the connections they would create. They help me feel a part of rather than apart from.

    Robert

  4. Rich March 17, 2019 at 7:28 am - Reply

    Depression is a flaw in chemistry not a flaw in character.

  5. Murray J March 17, 2019 at 7:12 am - Reply

    Just read these poems to my wife who is not in the program. Both of us were very touched. Robert, your poems have meaning and make a difference.

     

    Thank you!

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