No Longer Hiding in the Dark began as three separate poems written over consecutive days. One was biographical and two were autobiographical. After a conversation with a friend (he was reflected in the biographical poem), I realized that the three poems were part of the same story and that they were biographically autobiographical. That’s the way recovery has been for me. Every story that I share about myself becomes a story about someone else and vice versa.
My son recently asked me if I was doing okay in a conversation during a walk while visiting. He had noticed that my writing was fairly reflective and even a little dark if you will. I’m grateful that he notices and can ask me directly. I shared that actually, I felt like I was in a really good place, maybe even better than I’ve been, because, precisely because, I can share sometimes painful and dark experiences and feelings. It’s in that space that healing lives I think – the space where we give each other room to recover.
My friend says that I worry too much about him and I probably do. For as I’ve gotten to know myself, I see him, her, you, us, them, in my thoughts, these little poems that I write.
No Longer Hiding in the Dark
In all of this darkness there must be some light
He thought to himself alone there in the night
Just a sliver was all he did need to find his way out
From this the prison he had long since made
Thoughts such as these consumed him drank him down
For he remembered the days when there had been light
And he could dance and he could sing a player on a stage
But now those days seemed so very very long ago
So long ago that he was no longer sure if it was memory or dream
Every dawn a new day endless cycles of darkness bringing light
And he wakes emerging from the abyss of darkness into light
He walks forth no longer a life lived in exile sadly self-imposed
No more need for sheltering from an imagined storm
A maelstrom fed by fear leaving chaos in his destructive wake
Now a light seeker he has become and a light bringer he now is
No longer afraid of shadows shivering and cold hiding in the dark
About the Author
Robert B. is a sober alcoholic in Madison, WI participating in AA and AlAnon at Fitchburg Serenity Club. He has been sober since April 21, 2007. He also began writing and sharing poetry on Facebook during his first year sober as part of his recovery from alcohol dependency, acute anxiety and chronic depression. He has found that creativity expressed primarily through writing poetry and playing various stringed instruments helped him heal and thrive.