A Life Torn Asunder

Facing a harsh reality 13 years ago of a reality that I had created, filled me with hope-consuming shame. Until that point, I protected my denial by blaming a sometimes traumatic childhood, failed relationships, stressful career situations, being misunderstood, etc. Symptoms of untreated anxiety and chronic depression, though part of the underlying causes and conditions of my growing dependence on alcohol, were also targets of blame.

Blaming situations and others became ready excuses. I finally saw that I was trapped between shame and fear that I had created. That reality of ‘… a life torn asunder…’ became a way forward. Reality became friend rather than foe. I’m grateful to see my past for what it is to live free today (Living in the Present With the Past and With the Future.)

A Life Torn Asunder

My life once upon a time
Torn asunder from within
Todays worse than yesterdays
And days and days come before
The wreckage of a past
That I could not change
Nor forget no matter
How much I did drink
Shame greeted me in mirrors
Pain and fear I saw in the faces
Of those that loved me
And the ones that I loved
Even hope it did flee from
These my dark days and
My even darker nights
Now upon awakening
In the mirror I do see
A life worth living well
Today looks a lot like
Yesterday and the day before
And that’s quite alright with me

About the Author

Robert B. is a sober alcoholic in Madison, WI participating in AA and AlAnon at Fitchburg Serenity Club. He has been sober since April 21, 2007. He also began writing and sharing poetry on Facebook during his first year sober as part of his recovery from alcohol dependency, acute anxiety and chronic depression. He has found that creativity expressed primarily through writing poetry and playing various stringed instruments helped him heal and thrive. 

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