Coming Undone

Like the Guess Who classic, She’s Come Undone, my life began to come undone, to spiral out of control into dependence on alcohol, frequent paralyzing panic, hopeless, demoralizing depression and suicidal ideation 14 years ago. I realized in moments of clarity that I was unraveling and coming undone. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

“…She’s come undone
She didn’t know what she was headed for…“

But unlike the song, coming undone was the beginning rather than the end. For me, ‘it wasn’t too late’.

Like Dolores in Wally Lamb’s, She’s Come Undone who “…decides that her life, as it is now, is wonderful and is enough…”, I found that I needed to ‘come undone’ in order to break free, heal, and step into life with new perspectives on my past, present, and future. I found relief by first giving in to coming undone. Coming undone allowed me to see and to accept the painful realities of my life then, and to begin a path to freedom step-by-step, day-by-day, year-by-year.

Coming Undone

I feared coming undone
Desperately holding on
Refusing to give in
In a dark once-upon-a-time
Until I slowly came to realize
That rather than coming undone
I was slowly be-coming unbound
Stepping from the darkness
By walking towards the light
Free to become me
But first I had to let go
Let go and come undone


About the Author

Robert B. is a sober alcoholic in Madison, WI participating in AA and AlAnon at Fitchburg Serenity Club. He has been sober since April 21, 2007. He also began writing and sharing poetry on Facebook during his first year sober as part of his recovery from alcohol dependency, acute anxiety and chronic depression. He has found that creativity expressed primarily through writing poetry and playing various stringed instruments helped him heal and thrive.

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