Episode 187: Friendships in Sobriety

Angela and I talk about friendships and how they were impacted by our drinking and what we learned from our friends in sobriety. When I got sober, I didn’t have any friends left from my drinking days, but Angela continued to maintain those relationships after she got sober. This was recorded from our Friday live stream. We had one caller and several comments from the YouTube and Facebook chat. 

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Episode Summary 

  • Our earliest experiences with friends as children.
  • How friendships changed after our drinking got bad.
  • The importance of friendships made in AA and how those impacted our recovery.
  • The intimacy and vulnerability we have with friends in the Fellowship.
  • The different levels of friendships.
  • Online friendships

Memorable Quotes 

I had to learn at a pretty young age how to make friends quickly. My mom would bring me to parties, and oftentimes there wouldn’t be other kids there, so I would find myself knocking on doors looking for other kids to play with. – Angela 

My friendships during childhood were healthy, but in adolescence that began to change, and that was the time that alcohol entered the picture. Alcohol reduced my inhibitions, but it also shut me down and took me away from people. By the time, I was twenty-five, I was pretty much a lone-wolf. This changed dramatically when I entered AA. – John 

I went to Assemblies and other events put on by the loca AA community, and started to get to know people and personalities. Then going through the Steps, I started seeing my behaviors and the problems I had with friendships. I had to learn how to set boundaries. It was either no boundaries or walls went up. I built a fort. There was no in-between. – Angela 


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