I Close My Eyes Though I’m Quite Awake

Sleep evaded me at my bottom – unable to fall asleep without drinking alcohol – unable to fall back to sleep without drinking alcohol. Lately, though sober for some time, I’ve had several nights of waking and being unable to fall back to sleep. Most of my time sober, I’ve enjoyed and have been grateful to sleep well. Sober, I’ve developed healthy habits and am committed to a healthy lifestyle that supports good sleep. One of those is using meditation and mindfulness to let go of persistent thoughts of dread and failing letting go, letting them be rather than letting them consume me.

Lately, I’ve realized the mental and emotional weight of fear and dread since the political campaigns beginning in 2015. Sometimes, I truly feel that all of my worst fears are coming true. Today, I choose to remember, with an abundance of gratitude, that I once found hope when hopeless.

I Close My Eyes Though I’m Quite Awake

I close my eyes though it’s time to wake
For I don’t want to see what might await
Yesterday’s news worse than the day before
So I try to hold the world at bay for just a little longer
Pretending to sleep though I’m quite awake

Tomorrow Became Today

Yesterday came and went
As it has all of those times before
Even though at times I feared
That it might never end
Tomorrow became today
And I turned yet another page


About the Author

Robert B. is a sober alcoholic in Madison, WI participating in AA and AlAnon at Fitchburg Serenity Club. He has been sober since April 21, 2007. He also began writing and sharing poetry on Facebook during his first year sober as part of his recovery from alcohol dependency, acute anxiety, and chronic depression. He has found that creativity expressed primarily through writing poetry and playing various stringed instruments helped him heal and thrive.

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